“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
Anger is one of the most damaging emotions in relationships. Angry people hurt others, and their anger often causes people to want to avoid them. Anger causes unnecessary drama in a relationship, and it is the result of a heart that is not right with God. When you get your heart right with God, you will find that your anger problems will be resolved.
The verse above says, “Be ye angry, and sin not…” Anger in itself is not the problem, but it is uncontrolled anger that is the problem. If anger itself were a sin, God would be a sinner because God gets angry. However, God’s anger is not uncontrolled, but He chooses to get angry which allows Him to keep it under control. Relationships are hurt when anger drives the person instead of the person directing their anger. When you get anger under control is when you direct your anger instead of your anger directing you.
The verse above confirms that you can be angry and not sin at the same time. However, how can one be in control of their anger so they don’t let it become a sin? The answer is found in verse 32 where it says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This verse shows how you can control your anger.
First, you must ask God for forgiveness for your own sin. Forgiveness needs forgiveness. When you look at this verse, you can see that before you can forgive anyone else, you must be forgiven of God. One of the reasons someone lashes out at others in anger is because they have never gotten right with God. You cannot forgive others until you go to Christ to be forgiven of your own sins.
Second, you will never forgive others until you accept that God’s forgiven you. Anger is controlled through forgiveness. God commands you to forgive one another. Before you can forgive others, you must forgive yourself for what you have done. You will find it impossible to forgive others until you accept God’s forgiveness for your own sin. Yes, you must ask for God’s forgiveness, but you must also accept it. Stop trying to prove to yourself that you deserve God’s forgiveness. Understand that God doesn’t forgive you because you deserve it, but He forgives you because He loves you and chooses to forgive you. You will struggle with anger until you learn to accept God’s forgiveness for what you have done.
Third, tenderheartedness is needed to control your anger. Forgiveness gives you a tender heart towards others. When you forgive yourself, you will find the capability within yourself to forgive others. When you forgive others is when your heart becomes tender towards others. Forgiveness comes from a tender heart that sees that sin is what causes people to do wrong, rather than people hurting you because they hate you. A tender heart only comes from God, and He gives you that tender heart when you learn to forgive others.
Fourth, anger is controlled through kindness. You will find it easy to be kind to others when they wrong you when you have a tender heart towards them. Being kind is a choice, even when others have wronged you. You will find that kindness will control your anger so that it won’t cause you to lash out and hurt others. When you get your anger under control, you will find joy in every relationship.