Don’t Have a Life Preserver

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1 Corinthians 7:27 “Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.”

If I were to take you out into the middle of the ocean and throw you overboard with a life preserver, you would quickly grab the life preserver to stay afloat so that you would not drown. However, if I threw you overboard without a life preserver, you would do everything in your power to swim to shore no matter the distance you are from the shoreline. The difference in this illustration is the life preserver. You have an out with the life preserver to hope that someone else can save you, but you find a way to make it so that you can live without it.

I use this illustration because many relationships are ruined by throwing out the life preserver of seeking something new instead of determining to work through your difficulties in the relationship you have. The most dangerous word to a relationship is “seek.” God says in the verse above, “seek not.” To those who are married, you are not to seek to be loosed from your spouse. To those who are single, you are not to seek a spouse. I know this sounds strange, especially to the single person, but God is giving great advice by teaching us to throw away the life preserver so that we can enjoy relationships to their fullest or find the right person so that we can have a fulfilling relationship. Let me deal with these relationships and this truth.

First, a married person will never enjoy their spouse to the degree they could until they throw out the life preserver. The life preserver I am talking about is divorce. You cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone when divorce is your option. You will always find it difficult to work through your marital issues as long as divorce is an option. Divorce cannot be the life preserver to your marital disputes. Seeking someone else instead of working through your issues in your marriage is not the answer to finding fulfilling relationships. If you stop spending your energies on finding someone else and use those energies to work through your marital issues, you would find that you can work out your differences and enjoy your marriage to the fullest extent that God wants you to enjoy it.

Second, a single person must stop seeking to get married if they want to marry the right person. The greatest mistake many singles make is they look for a spouse instead of letting God bring them their spouse. When you look for a spouse, you will find one, but not the one whom God wants you to have. Singles, lay aside your requirements and let God bring you the right individual to marry. If you seek to be married, you will eventually run to a life preserver and likely marry just any person. You see, the life preserver for the single person is that they are in love with the thought of being married. When you want to be married at all costs, you will find someone to marry, but likely not the person whom God has for you to marry. Instead of seeking a spouse, seek to get close to God and you will discover others around you who have the same desires that you have.

Let me conclude by warning you not to let seeking someone be your life preserver while you are married or single. Resolve to do what is right, get busy serving the LORD, and you will find that the LORD will help you to work out your situation. Fall in love with God, and He will help the married person to work out their issues, and the single person to find the right person whom they should marry.

Dr. Allen Domelle


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