Finding the Wrong Spouse

Judges 14:2
“And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.”

Finding the right person to marry will never be regretted, but marrying someone you had no business marrying will bring years of heartache, frustration and trouble. Don’t get me wrong; once you are married, you are to stay married till the day you die; however, many people ignored the Scriptures in finding a spouse only to live with the regrets and results of not waiting on the LORD.

Samson’s life is a life that can be studied for several purposes. One of those areas where Samson never seemed to learn from his mistakes was in the area of the girls he pursued. In the verse above, you find Samson telling his parents that he wanted to marry this girl that he found and ignored their advice not to marry her. The result was she wasn’t faithful to him, and his life seemed to go on a continual downward spiral from that point. Several lessons can be found in this story to teach a young person about trying to find the right spouse.

First, never look for a spouse in the wrong crowd. Samson found this young lady by going down to the Philistines. You will never find a godly spouse by going down to the world. Who you run with is essential to finding the right spouse. If you want to avoid heartache, never date someone who runs in the wrong crowd.

Second, never make looks the determining factor for finding the right spouse. Samson saw a woman, and that was why he wanted her. Looks may attract you to a person, but if their character doesn’t match their looks, their looks will make your life ugly. Just because someone is handsome or pretty doesn’t mean they are the right person. I know, you don’t want to marry someone ugly, but character should be the drawing factor that draws you to a person.

Third, not involving your parents will likely cause you to choose the wrong person. I am very thankful that I included my parents in my dating life. My parents knew better than I who could help me because they knew my personality. It wasn’t that the girls I dated were bad; it was just that it took a special person to be able to help me in the LORD’s work. Always understand that your parents want the best for you. You would be wise to ask their opinion about a person you are interested in before you get serious with them.

Fourth, avoiding spiritual leadership always leads you to the wrong person. Samson’s spiritual leaders were his parents, and they didn’t know about this girl. If who you are dating is right, you won’t have to hide them from the spiritual leaders in your life. Your spiritual leaders want the best for you. Avoiding your spiritual leaders is always a good sign that you are not dating someone of whom God would approve.

Fifth, if you are going to find the right person, you must base your determination on the spiritual and not the physical. The best way to find the right person to marry is to get busy serving the LORD. Don’t sit on the sideline waiting for God to bring the right person to you. God will bring you together to the person you should marry if you stay busy serving Him. When you marry someone with whom you are serving the LORD, you will always have the same agenda and purpose in life which will enhance your marriage and ministry for Christ.

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