2 Samuel 13:4
“And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
One of the more tragic stories found in the Scriptures is the story of Amnon and Tamar. Not only is it one of the more tragic stories, but it is one of the most troubling stories because of the lack of action of Tamar’s father after Amnon had defiled her. Though we can’t quite understand the culture of that day, I believe everyone would agree that what Amnon did to his sister was sick and wrong.
The one thing that started the plot to defile Tamar was when Amnon said to his friend, “I love Tamar.” I take exception to this statement because he did not love her, but he lusted after her. True love would not have done what he did. Every person, especially young people, need to learn that true love would never do some of the things that Amnon did. Four things in this story show what true love would not do if you love someone.
First, you wouldn’t be secretive about your intentions if you loved someone. It is interesting that everything Amnon intended to do was kept in secret. The reason he kept his intentions secret is because he knew they were wrong. Ephesians 5:12 says, “For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.” If what you want to do is right, you will not be afraid for people to know your intentions behind your actions. If you truly love someone, you will not hide your intentions of your actions from them or those related to them. True love is open with its intentions to all parties involved.
Second, you wouldn’t avoid the authorities of the one you love if you loved them. Amnon didn’t tell David what he wanted to do because he knew it was wrong. If you love someone, you are not afraid for their authorities to know what you are doing with them. My experience has been that if someone doesn’t want the authorities of an individual they “love” to find out what they are doing, then what they are doing is wrong. Authorities are placed in an individual’s life for their protection, and only someone who wants to do wrong will avoid the protection of that individual. If you truly love a person, you will also want to get to know the authorities in their life.
Third, you wouldn’t want to do wrong with the one you love if you loved them. Sin hurts everyone; and if you truly love a person, you wouldn’t want to commit sin with them knowing that sin’s price is hurtful. If your intentions are right, and you truly love an individual, you will want to do everything right so that the LORD will bless your relationship.
Fourth, you wouldn’t build your relationship on deceit if you truly love them. Deceit is a relationship breaker. Every relationship that has been broken can trace the causes of the break to deceit. If you love someone, why would you build your relationship on the very thing that destroys relationships? You cannot build a relationship on the foundation of deceit and expect to reap the joy that comes from honesty. Truth and right is the foundation of every strong relationship.
So, you think you love someone. If you love them, these four things will not be a part of your relationship with them. Great trust and fulfillment is experienced when you do things the right and honest way in building relationships.