Oh No, Not Another Proverbs 31 Article!

How many times have we tried to be the “SUPER MOM?” Yet, end up frustrated, yelling and snapping at everyone. The world of being a good wife and mother is no different from any other area of our Christian life. The reason we feel frustrated is because we are frustrated. There is not one area in our lives that we don’t need God’s Word to change us and His strength to help us live our lives.

I have read many articles on the Proverbs 31 woman, and to tell you the truth, I get tired of them. It seems as I read them, I always fail to do everything perfectly right. God’s Word is not just a repair manual. Fix this part, do this activity a little differently, add this ingredient; is that really what Proverbs 31 is all about? God’s Word has a 100% guarantee; if we follow the instructions, we will get the results. The instructions I understand from His Word are to seek Him daily and let Him work through me and change or repair me.

When I read Proverbs 31, I see a woman who fears the Lord. A woman who has a lot of wisdom from spending time in the Bible. She is a woman with a strong work ethic, and a lot of character. A woman with this kind of character has to have a close walk with God. A woman with this kind of character will have a husband who sees his wife as a woman who fears the Lord. She will look beautiful to him because of her commitment to the Lord. We have a very bad tendency to get this all backwards.

We make a list of all the things that the Proverbs 31 woman did and we try to do them. Then, we add other requirements that sound good to us. After all, the Proverbs 31 woman is a “SUPER MOM.” She works so hard, her house is always spotless and her family is “perfect.” Let’s not add to God’s Word.

Does this list sound familiar?

Her house is never dusty.
You can eat off her floors.
She does all the housework herself while her children play on the Wii.
Her children never fight.
Her children are never rude.
Her children are all straight “A” students.
Her hair is always fixed perfectly and she never has a hair out of place.
She never makes a bad decision.
She is a Sunday school teacher, nursery worker, helps at school and volunteers for everything.
She stays up late and gets up early.
She does everything and never even needs help (she doesn’t really need her husband).

No wonder we snap and feel frustrated! Do you remember reading about Mary and Martha? I wonder if one of them had a list like this? We need to tear up this list and grab our Bibles. If we are spending time in His Word and in prayer, sitting at His feet and letting Him work through us, our lives will reflect what we read in Proverbs 31. It is not doing these things that make us a Proverbs 31 woman. It is a right heart, it is a walk with God. There are many unsaved and ungodly women who accomplish many things on this list, and some even strive to do this list and more, but they are not Proverbs 31 women.

In Proverbs 31:30 it says, “…but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” We become a Proverbs 31 woman by loving the Lord and serving Him. It’s not a list of things we do, but it is Him that puts these qualities in our lives. Can’t you see it is Him working through us? We just need to get to know Him. Without Him these things don’t mean anything. When we get this in the right order, God first, then all these things we are supposed to be and do, He makes possible. He gives us the wisdom and strength to be the wife and mother He wants us to be.

Did God tell us about this amazing woman in Proverbs 31 so that we would strive to be like her? No! Perhaps, if we walk with God, have godly wisdom and love Him, the result will be a Proverbs 31 woman. Proverbs 31 doesn’t say who can build, make or accomplish a virtuous woman. It says, “Who can find…” You can find yourself being one if you walk with Him, love Him and seek His wisdom.

Proverbs 31:30-31 says, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Bette Owens
Pastor’s wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA

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