1 Corinthians 7:3
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
Many are looking for the answer to a happy marriage, but they avoid one word that could change the whole atmosphere of their marriage. Many read a plethora of books on marriage, and I don't think this is bad, but most books on marriage can be summarized in one word that would change every marriage for the good. This one word does not mean that there won’t be disagreements in the marriage, but it does mean that the disagreements will be handled properly. This one word, if done, will change the marital relationship for the good.
God says, Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The one word that will change a marriage is the word benevolence. You will notice that God says the husband owes the wife benevolence, and likewise, the wife owes her husband benevolence. So, if benevolence is such a keyword, what is it?
First, being benevolent means to be thoughtful. Being thoughtful of your spouse means you will consider their needs over yours. One great contributor to marital problems is selfishness. If each spouse was thoughtful of each other, you would find we would be more careful not to say or do hurtful things to them. You could avoid the hurt in your marriage if you were thoughtful of your spouse.
Second, being benevolent means to be kind. Kindness is a choice. Kindness means to be considerate of your spouse. Do you consider your spouse when you demand your way? Ladies, do you consider your husband when he comes home from a hard day at work and then complain about the house not being big enough? Men, do you consider your wife when you come home and demand that she wait on you after she has dealt with the children all day? Being considerate toward your spouse and thinking about what they have gone through all day would make you to be kind to them.
Third, being benevolent means to be charitable. Charity is love invested; therefore, to be charitable towards your spouse would mean that you invest your life to please them. If each spouse lived their life to meet the needs of the other, you would never have one need not met in the marriage. If you loved your spouse more than you loved yourself, meeting their needs would not be hard.
Fourth, being benevolent means to be unselfish. Selfishness is at the core of many marital issues. Ladies, your husband’s needs would be met if you were unselfish. Men, being unselfish would cause you not to be demanding of your wife as if she were some object. An unselfish marriage will think about the needs of the other and try to meet those needs even if it means you are inconvenienced.
Fifth, being benevolent means to be decent towards your spouse. Just because you have been married for years does not mean you have the right to be crude in language or hateful in conversation towards your spouse. The person you ought to be the most decent towards is the one to whom you are married for they should be the love of your life. Never let familiarity with your spouse cause you not to treat them decently. Let the familiarity of your spouse cause you to know better how to treat them with more decency and dignity.
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