“And when all the congregation saw that Aaron was dead, they mourned for Aaron thirty days, even all the house of Israel.”
Everybody will have to go through times in their life when they lose a loved one. Whether it is a spouse, child, sibling, mentor, or a close friend, losing someone to death is difficult. The children of Israel found this out when Aaron died. Aaron had undoubtedly helped many people as an assistant to Moses, and this nation grieved when he died. For thirty days, this nation mourned Aaron’s death, and then they began to march forward towards the Promised Land. This verse has the answer to dealing with death when you lose a loved one, and it shows how to turn your mourning into a productive tool to help others. Let me share this answer with you.
First, there is nothing wrong with a time to mourn. Mourning for a loved one is natural and helpful. You are not a weak person because you weep for someone you loved. I have found some people withhold themselves from crying because they feel it is a sign of weakness. My friend, crying is part of the healing process when dealing with grief. Even Jesus wept when He came to the tomb where Lazarus was buried, and that didn’t make Him weak; rather, it showed the strength and compassion of the Saviour. To keep yourself from weeping and mourning only hurts you in the long run. Tears are the pressure relief valve that releases the grief in your heart. God created you with the ability to cry, so don’t think it makes you weak to cry.
Second, you have to move on. You will notice that Israel mourned for Aaron a total of thirty days. Likewise, when Moses died, they took thirty days to mourn for him. God is showing the believer that it is good to have a mourning period of thirty days, but after that, you must move on. To continue to mourn longer than this only turns your mourning into bitterness towards God. Your life cannot stop just because you have lost a loved one. Many people have become useless for God and others because they never learned to move on after losing a loved one.
Third, routine is the best medicine for moving on. When Ezekiel’s wife died, God told him to go out the next day and preach as he had done before. God was showing us the importance of not stopping life after you lose a loved one. You cannot hibernate in grief and expect to find the balm that the Holy Spirit has to help you to move on after losing a loved one. The balm of comfort that the Holy Spirit gives to deal with the loss of a loved one only comes by continuing to serve the LORD. As you move on in your daily routines, the Holy Spirit gives you the grace you need to deal with the hurt of losing that loved one.
Fourth, don’t let your love turn into bitterness. One reason people become bitter after the death of a loved one is because they don’t have an outlet for the love they used to give to the one who died. One of the best things you can do after losing a loved one is to invest yourself in others and pour the love out on others that you used to give to the one who passed away. It does not mean that you don’t love the one who passed away, but it helps your heart of love to grow, and it gives an outlet for that love. If you don’t go and love others, your love will have no outlet and it will turn into bitterness. Losing a loved one is not easy, but getting involved in a church ministry so you can help others gives you a way to let the love out that you have pent-up inside.