The Danger of Grieving

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1 Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.”

David and his men were greatly distressed because of their wives and children being taken captive. The possessions they lost didn't mean anything to them without their family. In this time of grieving, these men nearly made a rash decision that they would have regretted later, and it would have changed the course of history forever.

Everyone will grieve at some point in their lives. One of the main times of grieving is when you lose a loved one. You must be very careful while you go through the grieving period because of many dangerous decisions and responses you can make that are the result of grief. Many have made detrimental decisions or have had destructive responses while grieving that could have been avoided had they not let their grief dictate their response or decision. Let me give you several cautions you beware of when you are grieving.

First, know that your feelings will be short. You can easily say things that you don't really mean because of the grief you are going through. You must acknowledge that your feelings are short and that you must be very careful about everything you do and say while grieving.

Second, everyone won’t understand your grief. One of the things that will frustrate you is that people seem to move on in their life while you are grieving. Many times people will say things that you can take wrong, but you cannot let their lack of understanding of your grief cause you to get angry or lash out in anger because of something they said or did.

Third, be measured in your responses while grieving. Be very slow and deliberate during a time of grief. Be careful with what you say while dealing with the pressures of grief; you don't want to say something you’ll regret later. The multiplicity of decisions that you often have to make in a time of grief places tremendous pressure on you, and you must be deliberate with everything you do so that your time of grief doesn't become a time of destruction.

Fourth, be careful with your decisions while you are grieving. Many have made detrimental decisions while they were grieving. Don't make life-changing decisions while your decision-maker is broken. You would be very wise to let your pastor help you and guide you in decisions while your decision-maker is broken by grief.

Fifth, ask the Holy Spirit to be with your spirit while grieving. The one who can help your spirit the greatest is the Holy Spirit. Every morning that you wake up while going through grief, ask the Holy Spirit to be with your spirit during that day. Ask the Holy Spirit to heal your spirit so that your grief doesn’t break your spirit and let depression control you.

Sixth, encourage yourself in the LORD. You will either encourage yourself in the LORD and see the bright side of life, or you will destroy yourself in vices and self-pity while grieving. The LORD is the only help you will find while you are grieving. Encourage yourself by reading the Psalms and reaching the lost. You can live on top of your grief if you encourage yourself in the LORD. Your testimony for Christ will be greatly enhanced if you deal with grieving properly.

Dr. Allen Domelle


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