“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”
Relationships are always going to struggle because every relationship involves two sinners. However, when you consider the marriage relationship, you can guarantee there are going to be times that it struggles because you have two people who are together all the time. You can’t be together all the time without having some disagreements. The very dynamic that makes a relationship so great is the very thing that can cause problems, and that dynamic is that there are two people involved in the relationship who are going to think differently.
In the verse above, the Pharisees came to Jesus and asked Him if it was “lawful for a man to put away his wife.” The Pharisees knew the answer to this question, but they asked Jesus because they wanted to catch Him in an erroneous answer. In Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees is found answers as to why marriages struggle. Let me point out the six reasons Jesus gave as to why marriages struggle.
First, marriages struggle because divorce is an option. The Pharisees made it sound as if divorce is an option. Any marriage where divorce is an option to settle differences is a marriage that is bound for trouble. Divorce is nothing more than running away from your problems. When divorce is not an option, you will find a way to work through your differences.
Second, marriages struggle because of a refusal to understand the differences between male and female. Men and women don’t think alike, and until you come to that realization that your spouse is not going to think like you, you will continue to have problems in your marriage.
Third, marriages struggle because one spouse won’t leave their parents. At the core of a marriage are two people leaving their parents to cleave to each other. You will constantly have problems in your marriage when you allow your parents to meddle in your marriage. Likewise, your marriage will struggle as long as you run to your parents about everything instead of cleaving to your spouse and finding a way to work through problems. You can solve many of your marriage problems if you will stop letting your parents dictate what you do in your marriage.
Fourth, marriages struggle because one spouse won’t cleave to their spouse. When you get married, you must leave everyone to cleave to your spouse. Your spouse must become your best friend if you want your marriage to be happy. The happiest marriage is when you are married to your best friend.
Fifth, marriages struggle because of hard hearts. There has to be give-and-take in every marriage. When you must have everything your way, you will find that your marriage will struggle. Strong relationships are built on flexibility. Don’t be so hard-hearted that everything has to be your way.
Sixth, marriages struggle because of immorality. Let me encourage you to always beware of other people trying to work their way into your life. Satan will use immorality to destroy your marriage, and immorality comes in the form of affairs and pornography. Guard your marriage from immorality by being sure to meet your spouse’s physical needs.