“Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.”
In this verse, Jesus was not being disrespectful to his mother; instead, He was establishing His leadership with her. Jesus was not going to let his mother think that she could tell Him what to do as a leader. Yes, she was His mother, but it was not her position to tell Him what to do. In fact, she was usurping her role because it was not her place to tell Jesus how to run His ministry beings that His ministry was of God.
Most leaders should learn from Jesus’ example of how to establish their authority as a leader early on in their role of leadership. At some point, you must establish your role of leadership and let those near you understand that you love them and respect them, but they will not dictate what you are going to do. Most young preachers must learn to establish their role of pastor by not letting the deacons or leaders of the church feel that they are going to control you, but that you will do what God has commanded you and is leading you to do. Now, the leader must be wise in how they do this, but establishing your role of leadership is important even though it may hurt those to whom you are near. There are several lessons from this example that can help you as a leader.
First, don’t let family relationships influence your authority as a leader. A pastor must be careful not to allow their wife to dictate what they do in the church. Likewise, a pastor must be careful not to let their children influence their decisions as a pastor. A pastor must do what God wants them to do. It is often hard to tell your spouse or children that you won’t do what they want to do because you have to live with them. Family relationships can hurt your ability to lead if you don’t let them know that it is not their area to lead.
Second, don’t place your family member in the tough spot of having to tell you that you are not the leader. Ladies, don’t put your husband in a difficult spot of having to set you in your place. You may have your opinion of what you think he should do, but your opinion is not what matters; what matters is what God wants him to do. I am not saying that your opinion is worthless, but you must be willing to give your suggestion like every other church member and leave it there. Don’t think your husband has to jump at your command because you want him to do it because you are his wife. He has to lead according to what the LORD leads him to do. Don’t put him in a difficult position of having to tell you, “No.”
Third, church members must be careful of thinking their “position” gives them a right to tell the pastor what to do. Just because you have tenure as a church member, or just because you have “position” in the church doesn’t give you a right to dictate to the pastor what he should do. There is nothing wrong with respectfully giving your thoughts to the pastor, but you mustn’t believe that he must do what you think he should because of “who” you are.
My friend, many churches have been destroyed because of people not understanding the importance of leadership structure and roles. If you love your church, you will stay within the leadership structure and not try to use your “position” to get your way. The strongest church is the church where the pastor has the freedom to allow the LORD to lead him without his family and church members dictating that he does what they want him to do.