You Don’t Want Her
“That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.”
When I was a boy, my mother was very careful about warning me of which type of girls I should date. She had a good eye about seeing what type of girl I should not date, and she was quick to let me know if a girl I wanted to date was not the kind of girl for me. The constant cautions from my mother saved me from making foolish decisions that would have kept me out of the ministry.
In Proverbs 7, God warns the young man of a woman who he should avoid. Throughout this chapter, there are several characteristics identified that identify to the young man the wrong type of girl to date. Let me briefly share with you what this chapter teaches about what type of woman a young man look to avoid.
First, be careful of the woman who always praises you. The strange woman “flattereth with her words.” Every man should avoid the woman who is always talking about how great he is. There is a difference between compliments and flattery. Flattery is getting you to believe you are something you know you are not. Avoid the type of woman whose praise of you is obviously dishonest.
Second, avoid the woman who dresses provocatively. A woman who dresses to draw your attention towards her body will continue to try and draw attention towards her body after she is married. Lust is the wrong reason to be drawn to a woman. A lady’s spirit is what should draw you to her, not her provocative attire.
Third, avoid the woman who doesn’t enjoy being home. Verse 11 reveals that the strange woman doesn’t abide in “her house.” If a woman doesn’t like being home before marriage, she won’t enjoy being home afterwards. A woman should feel that her home is her castle, and to avoid the castle means she will never want to be home after she is married.
Fourth, avoid the woman who is a commotion-maker. The woman always draws attention to herself with her loud ways should be avoided. A commotion-maker will never be a help meet because she is about being the center of attention and not about meeting the needs of her husband. Always be wary of the woman who is loud, and remember that she will most likely become louder and stubborn after marriage.
Fifth, avoid the woman who is always touching men. Verse 13 talks about the woman who kissed this young man. There are women who are very touchy with men, and these women must be avoided. Women know what desires they stir in a man when they touch them, and you must avoid them if you don’t want to fall into sin.
Sixth, avoid the woman who plays to your flesh. The strange woman tried to convince this young man that fornication wasn’t wrong. One night stands are wrong no matter how you put it. Always avoid the individual who would cause you to lose something you can never get back.
Seventh, avoid the woman who talks wrong. Verse 21 shows that the strange woman used her speech to get the young man to yield. A woman who is willing to convince you to do wrong physically will also convince you to leave the Christian way later in life. You would be wise to let spiritual conversation be what draws you to a lady.